Everything on the news is about the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Did you know that Jubilee is the Latin word for “Holy Shit Dat Bitch Is Old!”?

One day, I want to buy some really, really crappy jam. So then when I try to get it out of the jar I can proclaim, “Out, vile jelly!”

I think the problem with The Avengers is that Loki is (apparently, personally I don’t see it) too sexy. A villain can’t be fearsome if he’s hot. You don’t hear fangirls looking at Abomination and saying, “I need to tap that ass.”